The Life Manual: Killing Freddy Kruger and Saving Princess Toadstool


An Editorial By: Juan R Govea
After that headline for an editorial, I’m sure readers would love to know about the metaphysical existential psychosis of battling inner demons, but hey, lets take that trip down this crazy rabbit hole called life. First rule, don’t be a Cipher in the Snow.
Written by Jean Mizer, an Idaho teacher, counselor and guidance director. The story depicts an ostracized teenager, Cliff Evans, who following his parents’ divorce has no friends and becomes a completely withdrawn cipher. Then on a school bus, he asks to be let off, and collapses and dies in the snow near the roadside.

I hate to be dramatic, but the idea of being a cipher of depressive seclusion would kill even the largest of men. Don’t go down that road, talk to someone and maintain reality and consciousness or it’s your own demise. Experience life, learn lessons but don’t sit and loom over despair.

Then we get to the hard drawn out life we dreamed of having. Get up, grab coffee, poop, shower, dress, go to work, come home, do the dishes, rinse and repeat the 9-to-5 the next day.

I beg to differ, but Id rather be a minimalist of capitalism, but that’s the cycle, we are soon to crack our personal cosmic eggs soon enough. We are human, some live lavishly but others not so much. Being caught in a monotonous cycle can trigger the most dreadful misery to that of a cipher. Stay alert, don’t drag your feet, look your best and maintain your composure, the rabbit hole gets deeper, but stay positive, I beg you. You are winning at life, I swear.

Now we get to the actual life Manual that no one talks about, or else the guys in white coats with nets come and drag you off to a medicated sedated lavish life of luxury.

If you get to this point, I hope you have some Jedi mind tricks up your sleeve. No worries, there are always coping strategies to keep from going off the deep-end. You might already know, knock on wood.

Believer in God, ok that works. Honestly, I say a prayer every now and then and it sometimes helps. But when the going get tough the tough get going.

Also, don’t alter the natural forces of Mother Nature and keep it real. Nothing is free in this world except the nobility and trust in your fellow man, but there comes a point in one’s life when damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

If you’ve experienced the illusion of drug usage, I’m sure you’ve already made it to this depth of the rabbit hole, bless you, the struggle is real friend. Not many have experienced the perils of maintaining a conscious reality while being on a pink cloud, but there comes a time where even the mildest of users will look over their backs in paranoia of the darkest of imaginations. I hate this part as much as the cipher, but don’t fret. This could actually be the worst or best part of life especially if you don’t sit and pout and loom over the demons while being sick, sad and sorry. Get out of the funk and distract yourself from the negative voice in your head. If so be, get help, talk with a friend and kill the bad vibes, thanks captain obvious.

Ok, you’re young, stupid and might have used an Ouija board while on LSD and it might have grinded your vibe with an occasional flashback, it could happen and might have, but I don’t suggest the experience. No worries, like stated before, distractions help, but if the nagging bastard of a monster is non-stop and the happy thoughts have flew the coop and its time to save Princess Toadstool and you decided to fight instead of flight then no holds bard. You have it in you, don’t be a deer in headlights and fight. If it’s bull crap at your door-step fight bull crap with bull crap, you might as well be a Jedi at this point. You’ve been fighting this bastard for so long you just didn’t know it, and you’ve won endless of times over again. Trigger after trigger you’ve won, so don’t let your demons get the best of you and I’m sure for the most hopeful part you never will have to duel Freddy Krueger in a metaphysical state, no matter your psychosis.

The best days of your life are ahead of you reader. Your accomplishment, no matter the monotonous lifestyle or dramatic self-depriving reality might come forth. We live through experiences and overcome the greatest of feats, and we damn well deserve the satisfaction. We owe it to ourselves to be happy, prosperous and productive.

Keep fighting the good fight my friends. Take what you got and make it work. It might be a burden, but I’d be damned if the princess was in another castle, but that’s life.


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